Locked Out

It’s been a weird couple of months in my life. A lot of things falling through my fingers and I’ve been learning how to take the punches as they come.

Today I experienced something I never thought I would experience in my life. Being locked out.

I’m known for being a scatterbrain. It’s obvious. I try my very best to stay as organised as possible, but no matter what I will always leave something behind or forget something.

I am constantly making lists to make sure that I don’t leave anything behind… but that doesn’t mean that I don’t lose shit. Trust me I do. Before leaving Toronto this week I “lost” my keys. My friend was picking me up so we could go to Kingston together and I turned to her and said: Alright, just let me find the keys to my apartment. She asked me where I last put them and I jokingly (but seriously) replied: I’m pretty sure I stupidly packed them in my luggage bag, that just seems like something I would do…

And it’s true. I packed them in my luggage bag because hours before I told myself: Make sure you don’t forget your keys, because if you do… you’re going to be fucked when you get home.

Something about me: I know I lose my keys… I know that they are the last thing I think about… and my partner always complains about the fact that I constantly leave the house without them. Thing is, sometimes I feel like they are better off at home.

If I do leave the house with my keys I make sure they are on a carabiner that way I know that my keys are always on me and I will never lose them. Tonight after my show I had a little situation where I couldn’t find my keys. I checked everywhere around the venue to make sure I hadn’t dropped them while I was changing or something. Nothing.

When I got to my billets house I frantically knocked on the door trying to see if he would open up. Nothing.

Another one of my friends was with me, but she had to drive back to Ottawa (about two hours away) so I told her to go since it was getting late in the night.

I knocked on the door for about 45-minutes longer and my billet didn’t answer. (Little did I know he wasn’t even home!)

I quickly posted on the festival’s Facebook group asking if there was anywhere I could crash for a few hours or perhaps for the night and I immediately got a response from one of the sweetest staff members from the festival telling me that she had a couch to crash on. The biggest godsend, eh?

As soon as I got to her apartment she offered me a change of clothes and any food or drink I wanted. I told her that was all fine, but that I would take the change of clothes as I was disgusting from running around stage for an hour. As I was changing, what do I find? My keys. They were between my pants and my underwear. I guess they had tucked themselves in there as I was pulling up my pants after the show and my underwear was just thick enough that I couldn’t feel the cold metal against my skin.

I literally felt like the biggest idiot on the face of the earth… (not that I hadn’t already when I knew I lost my keys….)

There are a number of things I need to clock for myself tonight. Things like: be more careful and focussed when you do things, there are really amazing people out there who actually do care and will go out of their ways to help you, and always trust yourself when it comes to routine. I knew that it was highly improbable that I lost my keys. I told my friend multiple times: I put my keys on a carabiner so I never lose them… but I should have paid more attention… checked my pants multiple times.

I know mistakes happen, but they can also be avoided…

So on that note, goodnight. And thank you so much again V for being the kid spirit that helped me through tonight.